


Demons are Morons!

by jedipati



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-09
Updated: 2010-05-09
Packaged: 2017-10-09 09:30:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/85730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedipati/pseuds/jedipati
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They had a plan.  They had a way to trap Lucifer.  They just needed for him to capture Sam.  The problem was that they couldn't make it look easy, and Sam and Dean just weren't in the habit of letting themselves get captured.  The demons weren't helping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Demons are Morons!

**Author's Note:**

> This is how I imagine them getting Sam to Lucifer after 5.21.

They had a plan. It wasn't exactly a good plan. In fact, it was a downright stupid plan. But it was a plan. It just wasn't working.

Sam Winchester sighed. Their plan was simple. Get Sam to Lucifer, have Sam say yes, and then hope like Hell- no pun intended- that Sam could control his body long enough to get Lucifer back in his cage.

The problem was, to do that, Sam had to be captured and brought to Lucifer. Simple, right? Especially when every demon from here to Timbuktu wanted to be the one to bring Sam to Lucifer. But it wasn't simple at all. Every single demon they'd run into were absolute idiots. None of them were smart enough to make it look like they had captured Sam.

They needed Lucifer to believe that Sam didn't want to be there, that they didn't have a plan.

Everyone was starting to get a bit frustrated.

"Why do all the demons we've been running into have an IQ lower then an omeaba?" Sam asked no one in particular.

Crowley, the demon that was supposedly on their side, snorted. "It's because you chuckleheads have killed the smart ones."

"We need a new plan," Castiel said.

"Oh? And what sort of plan do you think we could come up with?" Crowley sneered.

The former angel and the demon did not get along.

"Enough," Bobby Singer growled.

"We could go to Detroit," Sam said. "I mean…"

"We've been avoiding Detroit, and with good reason," Dean said. "We'd need an extremely good reason to go there."

Bobby looked up. "There've been massive demonic omens in Detroit for the past week," he said.

"Big enough that we'd risk going there?" Sam asked.

Bobby sighed. "Probably," he said.

Crowley shook his head. "It's a trap," he said.

"That's the point," Castiel snapped.

"Crowley vs. Castiel, Round Ten," Dean muttered before clearing his throat. "Sammy, what do you think?"

"They'd probably take me to Detroit anyway," Sam pointed out. "Lucifer said I'd say yes in Detroit, and we know that he doesn't lie to me. Anyway, if we go there instead, that'd save me some time. But… God, if I could avoid Detroit, I would."

Sam stared at the ceiling for a moment. "Even if we weren't trying to get me to Lucifer, we'd probably go, if the omens are as bad as Bobby says."

"Yeah, you would," Bobby said.

Sam nodded. "Then I think we should go."

"And, hopefully, the demons are a bit smarter in Detroit," Dean said.

"They can hardly be dumber," Castiel said.

Sam and Dean smiled briefly. Almost immediately, their smiles faded.

They were going to Detroit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam stared out the window as Dean drove. He was trying to distract his mind from where they were going, but it wasn't working.

Beside him, Dean was tense and jittery, hardly better then Sam himself. In the backseat, Castiel looked just as worried.

Tension in the car rocketed up as they passed the Detroit city limits. Sam's phone rang, making all of them jump. Sam fumbled for the phone.

"I can practically feel the tension from Bobby's van," Crowley said smoothly.

Sam looked back at the van following them. Bobby and Crowley had ridden in together. It had become obvious that Castiel and Crowley could not ride in the same car, so Bobby had reluctantly agreed to let Crowley in his car.

"Well, what'd you expect, Crowley?" Sam snapped.

"Easy there, just wanted to let you know that any demon is going to find you pretty easily. You're practically radiating tension."

"Good," Sam said before flipping the phone closed. He glanced at Dean. "Crowley says that all the worry is practically painting a bull's eye on the car.

Dean grinned. "Perfect," he said. "How long do you think we have before you're captured?"

Sam shrugged. "Who knows?" he asked. "It depends on how long it takes before a demon could realistically take me."

"Right," Dean said. He glanced around. "That motel we picked out is somewhere around here, right?"

"Turn left at the next stoplight," Castiel ordered. "It's halfway down that block."

Sam glanced back. "You're getting to be a good navigator," he said.

"I am not yet completely human," Castiel said. "And I can still find the places I need to find."

Sam nodded. "Right. Well, let's get set up in a room. Unfortunately, we've got to put up every protection we know, since that's what we'd do if we weren't trying to get me to Lucifer.

Dean pulled in to the motel. "I'll get two rooms next to each other," he said as Bobby pulled in next to the Impala. "You start getting our gear."

Sam nodded and almost at the same moment, they stepped out of the car. After a moment, Castiel got out as well.

Bobby groaned as he stepped out of his van, while Crowley just looked around.

"Well, boys and… well, boys," Crowley said. "Here we are in beautiful Detroit. Aren't we all just happy to be here?"

Bobby snorted. Castiel glared at the demon. Sam ignored him and headed for the trunk of the Impala, while Dean flipped Crowley off before heading for the motel office.

Sam had just opened the trunk when Castiel shouted out a warning. A second later, someone had tackled him. Sam twisted and managed to land on top of the man who'd tackled him. "Christo," Sam hissed.

The man flinched, his eyes flipping to black almost immediately.

Sam groaned. "Demons," he warned the others. He couldn't get to the knife, so he settled for chanting an exorcism as quickly as possible, quiet enough that Crowley couldn't hear it. The demon writhed and it was all Sam could do to hold him down.

Around him, the battle raged. Finally, he finished the exorcism and the demon he'd trapped left the man. Sam rolled to his feet and pulled out the knife just in time to stab another demon.

That was the last of the five demons who'd attacked them.

"Itjits," Bobby said as he looked down at the four dead bodies and one unconscious one.

"Seriously, they couldn't have waited until the weapons were in our rooms?" Sam asked. "How stupid can they be?"

"Stupid enough," Crowley replied.

"I guess the demons here in Detroit aren't smarter," Castiel said.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, fine, I only wrote this because I needed some humor before the final. I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
